Breaking chains (14/16)

[matsuaurore]

Title: Breaking chains
Author: matsuaurore
Pairings: Sakumoto, Ohmiya, Junba
Genre: Au, drama, romance, angst, BDSM
Rating: R
Disclaimer: If I owned Sakumoto they would already be tied up on my bed xD
Summary: I was 18 years old the first time I met him. I was a student, he was my teacher. Our relationship was forbidden but it didn't stop us to fall in love. But what I hadn't planned was the dark part of his life that would make me feel alive and free but at the same time, would tie me up to a dangerous relationship.

A/N: Jun and Aiba are 18 years old, Sho is 30 in this story.


Chapter 14:


"To..." I blinked when our lips met. I wanted to push him away but my body didn't obey and I kissed him back roughly, our tongues starting a battle. I was slowly getting hard and I could feel Toma wasn't in a better state when his erection touched my leg.
"We should leave."Toma whispered between our lips and I nodded, wanting to fuck as much as him. We left the swimming pool discreetly and ran to his car.

"Toma..." I moaned when Toma pushed me against his apartment’s door, kissing me roughly.
"I want you so bad. I've waited for that so long."

We entered his apartment, almost falling as we were kissing and taking our clothes off. When he started to try to dominate, I pushed him on the bed and climbed on him. His hands gripped my hair as I was devouring his neck. It had been a long time since I had topped. Since Masaki. And even if being inside Toma felt good, it wasn't like with Sho. In fact, I loved when Sho dominated me in bed. It was always intense, full of surprises and amazing.

"Jun!" Toma arched his body against mine as I was moving roughly inside him. There was something wrong. Maybe because I was on top. Maybe I was a bottom after all. Or maybe because I just couldn't sleep with someone else than Sho. When I felt I was softening while I hadn't even come, neither Toma, I pictured Sho in my mind. I thought about his lips on me, about his strokes, about his length hitting my prostate. Toma scratched my back when I pumped his length, bringing him over the edge.
"Sho!!!" I released with a loud moan, collapsing on top of Toma. When my orgasm vanished, I saw Toma's sad face and realized my mistake. I had hurt him. "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I know it will take time for you to love someone else."Toma stroked my cheek with a slight smile.
"I'm hurting you." I whispered.
"I'm ready to do everything to have you, Jun."
"I don't deserve your feelings."
"You do. Your heart isn't in a good state. You need someone to heal it. You need lots of love to fill the hole inside it." Toma smiled softly.
"I don't know if..."
"Tsss." Toma put his finger on my mouth. "You promised to let me try." I chuckled and nodded.
"Another round?" Toma switched our positions and I wrapped his waist with my legs, ready to try. Ready to open my heart and maybe forget this fucking pain.
"Do me." I whispered and gasped when he entered me without any preparations. Toma was amazing in bed but he wasn't Sho. Nobody was him. Nobody could make love to me like Sho did. Because Sho was the only one in my heart.
"You feel so good, Jun." I arched my body as Toma was thrusting inside me, touching my sweet spot. I kissed him with despair, trying to hold back the tears that were about to fall.

Yes, he wasn't Sho and nobody would ever be able to replace him.


When I woke up, Toma was hugging me from behind against him. My head was aching like hell, a kind hangover that had decided to invade it. I stood up and grabbed my boxer to prepare a breakfast. What happened last night was confusing me a lot. What could I do? Toma was right, I had to fight and realize my dream but forgetting Sho was something I didn't want. It had been six months and I missed him as if I had lost a part of myself. He had called me days and nights for two months and as I never answered, he had given up. Nino and Ohchan too. I wanted to talk with them but I was scared of myself. I was scared to give up at the second I would hear Sho's voice. I had to be strong. I had to let him think I hated him.

"Hello." Two arms wrapped my waist from behind and a pair of lips kissed my neck.
"Hello." I smiled.
"What are you cooking?"
"Just a basic Japanese breakfast." I put two bowls of rice and miso soup and sat.
"Jun, about last night..."
"I've already told you I would try." I cut him off.
"Really?!"
"Yes." I nodded, staring at my rice.
"Thank you for giving me a chance. I'll make you happy." Toma sat on my lap and kissed me softly.
"Hun." I muttered.
"I need a shower, want to come?"
"Want I fuck you?" I smirked.
"I wouldn't say no." Toma chuckled.
"I'm coming."
"Ne, Jun?"
"Hun?"
"What is it?" Toma touched my necklace.
"A gift from my best friend." I lied, pushing his hand away.

****

"And you want to become an actor?" The man in front of me asked.
"Yes." I said with a determinate voice and my best French.
"I see. You're good looking and your French isn't bad even if you have lots of progresses to make."
"Thank you."
"We can try for this publicity and see what you can do."
"Okay."
"Come on, I'll introduce you to the staff." I followed him in the big room where some persons were running everywhere, screaming orders. It was just publicity for a shampoo but as Toma said, I had to start from here to become someone.

"Okay, cut!" The staff shouted.
"So?" I asked.
"You're good. You need lessons to improve your skills but it's a good beginning, I think you can go far if you work hard." The director smiled.
"Thank you."
"I'll call you for other publicities, for the moment, go to this address, the man who works there is a friend of me and a teacher. He will teach you everything to become a good actor, you can trust him."
"Thank you very much!" I bowed.
"See you soon, Jun."

When I came back home, a big smile was spreading my lips. If my dream came true, maybe I would have a chance to forget Sho. I blinked when I saw Toma talking with my aunt on the sofa.

"Hey, baby." Toma came to me and kissed me softly.
"Toma was waiting for you. You could have told us that you two were finally dating." My aunt scowled with a smile.
"Sorry. I forgot." I apologized.
"You are smiling, something good happened?"
"The director for the publicity agreed to take me." I grinned happily.
"Oh! Omedetou, Jun!" My aunt exclaimed.
"I'm proud of you." Toma kissed my cheek, making me blush.
"I have to take lessons and to improve my pronunciation though."
"You'll succeed. I know you will." Toma stated.
"Thank you for helping me."
"I did nothing, I just woke you up and you decided to react."
"But you were here for me. Thank you." I pecked his lips.


Time passed quickly. I was now in France for four years and would leave for Japan in some months when I'll have the results of my last exams. Four years... So many things happened in four years. My French was now, almost perfect and I was a bit famous as actor in France. After the first publicity, others followed and then, I had had small roles in TV series before obtaining the main role of a movie. I wanted more of course. I wanted to be a better and more famous actor in France but also in Japan if it was possible and maybe someday in America... I was still dating Toma and loved him. Everything was perfect in my life. My note marks were very good, my dream was coming true, I had an amazing family and an incredible boyfriend. Yes. Everything was perfect... But why was I afraid to come back to Japan? Why was I afraid and at the same time, impatient. I was now, 22 years old, almost 23 and was independent. Because I would never obey to my father again. I had a situation, was old enough to live by myself and would tell my father that I'll never marry a girl nor take his business. But would I be able to face him? And Sho... Was I going to see him again? Maybe but it wasn't important now I had Toma. I loved him deeply.



"Nervous?" Toma asked with a smile, his arm wrapped around my waist.
"A bit." I forced a smile as we were waiting for the last results of our exams.
"I'm sure you've done great. As always." Toma kissed me and I let him wrap me in his arms, answering the kiss with passion.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
"Oh, he is here!" I gasped when the secretary of the director arrived with the papers in his hands. I gripped Toma's hand tightly, almost breaking his bones and looking for my name with despair. My eyes widened when I saw it. "Toma!!! I'm first!!!! Toma!!!" I screamed in happiness, jumping in my lover's arms.
"I told you so." Toma laughed.
"And you?"
"I'm 4th."
"Well done!"
"We have to celebrate it!"
"How?"
"I have an idea..." Toma stroked my butt and I smirked, catching his hand to lead him to the car. Luckily, my family wasn't at home when we arrived and we made love wildly in my bedroom, both screaming each other's names because of the pleasure.

"It was great." Toma panted when I collapsed next to him, out of breath.
"Yes." I chuckled.
"I'm proud of you, you know." Toma said, laying his head on my chest.
"Thank you. But everything is because of you. Without you, I think I would still be like four years ago, crying and following my father's orders."
"Nah. You are too stubborn to give up easily." Toma smiled, kissing my neck.
"I love you."
"Me too." I stood up to take my clothes and we joined the living room where we saw my uncle and my aunt.
"I knew I should have sound-proofed this bedroom." My uncle smirked. Toma and I blushed deeply.
"So, I guess your results were good as you two seemed to celebrate it in bed."
"I ended first." I blushed.
"I'm proud of you, Jun." My aunt exclaimed.
"It will be empty without you here." My uncle sighed.
"I don't want to leave." I muttered.
"You have to. Your studies are over here."
"But I like France and I love to live with you, you haven't the mentality of my father! You understand me and want me to be happy." I protested.
"We love you too, Jun. But you have people waiting for you in Tokyo. Don't you miss your mother and Aiba?" My aunt smiled sadly.
"I do. But I'll miss you so much." I pouted.
"You'll always be welcomed here. You can come when you want, your bedroom will always wait for you." My aunt took me in her arms.
"Thank you for everything."
"Thank you for all the happiness you gave us in four years." My uncle patted my shoulder with a smile.
"Your father wants you to come back in two days."
"So quickly?!" I gasped.
"Yes. But Jun, you know you have to face him. Avoiding him won't change anything. You're a man, now, you can face your father."
"And I'll be here for you." Toma took my hand.
"Really?"
"Of course! I won't let you return to Japan and let the men seduce you." Toma smirked.
"Baka." I smiled but my heart tightened at this thought. Why was I so scared to come back to Tokyo?

My two last days in Paris went too quickly. I cried a lot when I said goodbye to my family even if Toma was with me. Tokyo was reminding me too many painful things. And mostly Sho. Because saying I had forgotten him would be a perfect lie. In fact, I never stopped thinking about him in four years. I even went so far like actor and student because of him. Because I couldn't erase my love for him. I really loved Toma but not as strong as I loved Sho. Toma had been my buoy when I was slowly dying inside. He had been the person able to give me the courage to fight. He was someone very precious for me but I couldn't force my heart to love him as much as I still loved Sho. What did he become? Was he still a teacher? Did he have a slave? I knew I hadn't any right to know that but... Shit, why couldn't I forget him?!

"Jun!!!" I raised my eyes to see my mother running toward me. She looked older but still so beautiful.
"Mom!" I hugged her tightly, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"You've changed so much, dear! You're so beautiful with your hair!" She grinned, touching my short brown hair.
"Thank you."
"And you're taller than me now. God, I've missed you so damn much!" She burst into tears.
"I'm here now." I stroked her hair softly.
"Who is he?"
"This is Ikuta Toma, my boyfriend."
"But..." She bit her lip. Why did she look upset. "Welcome, young man, I'm Hanako Matsumoto."
"Nice to meet you." Toma bowed. Ah, hello Japanese tradition. I already missed the French’s spontaneity.
"Come in come in!"
"Mom, I want to see Masaki."
"If you want to find him, he will be at your old school, he helps there because his boyfriend is a teacher."
"Eh?! He has a boyfriend?!" I gasped.
"Yes, they are together for one year now."
"I've missed many things." I chuckled.
"It's not the only thing you've missed." She said softly. What did she mean?
"I know. But I've grown up, now, I'm ready to face dad and to protect you." I said seriously, taking her hand.
"It wasn't your fault, Jun." She protested.
"It was. But this bastard won't win this time. I'll face him!"
"Calm down, baby. We'll talk together when your father will be here." My mother smiled.
"Okay. He won't harm you this time, I promise." I stated, taking Toma's hand and entering the house.

"It feels so strange to be here after all this time!" I chuckled when we entered my bedroom.
"You miss Paris?"
"Yes. I love my country but these four years in France were amazing and this house reminds me painful memories." I sighed, touching the sheets of my bed, remembering all the times Sho had made love to me here.
"What happened before your father sent you in France?"
"Something I don't want to talk about." I whispered. My look stopped him to ask more questions and Toma helped me to settle my belongings.
"Jun, your father is back!" I heard my mother saying.
"Well, it's now." I chuckled nervously.
"You'll do great. Don't worry." Toma kissed my cheek.
"Hun. I'm not the weak boy I was four years ago."


"Jun, welcome home." My father smiled.
"Hello, dad."
"Who is he?" My father pointed Toma.
"My boyfriend."
"What?! I've sent you in France for four years and you dare to come back as fag as you were?!" I saw Toma paling and smiled to reassure him.
"I'll be clear with you. I'm 22 years old, almost 23. I'm graduated from a great French university, I'm a known actor there and I am independent. So, yes, in four years, the fact I like men hasn't changed but what have changed is that I'm not the 18 years old boy you knew. I've changed and I won't follow your orders like before. I won't work in your company and I won't marry a girl. I'm an actor and I have a boyfriend." I said calmly but coldly.
"I won't accept that!!"
"You don't have the choice."
"I'll disown you!"
"And I don't care. You were able to thread me four years ago because I couldn't say anything but now, it's over!"
"I'll break you!"
"It's funny because you said the same thing four years ago, the only difference now, is that I can protect the important persons for me against you." I smirked.
"I can break you or your faggy boyfriend whenever I want!"
"Souta!" My mother snapped.
"Everything is because of you, bitch!" My father yelled, raising his fist but I was faster and caught his arm, twisting it at the same time.
"Don't you dare to ever raise your hand on mom again! I won't let you harm her again. And don't you dare to insult my boyfriend and my mother!" I said with a scaring voice, making my father hiss in pain.
"You'll pay for that."
"I would love to see that. Mom, take a suitcase, we're leaving this house."
"If you leave, Hanako, I'll...."
"You what?!" I yelled, tightening my grip on his arm. "I swear I'll kill you if you approach her. I wasn't strong enough four years ago to protect her from your fucking fist but now, it's over." I threw my father on the ground. "You're just a shit." I spitted. "Come on mom, we have to leave." I said to my scared mother who looked lost like a puppy. We packed our belongings and left the house an hour later.
"Where will we go?" My mother sobbed.
"Don't worry, I've planned everything." I reassured her, kissing her temple.
"I'm proud of you." Toma whispered.
"I said I wouldn't let him harm the precious persons for me." I smiled. I congratulated myself for having planned my father's reaction. I had rented a small apartment as I had my savings. Our new home wasn't very big but we had two bedrooms and enough space not to walk on each other. After all these emotions, we ate in a happy mood and Toma quickly fell asleep on the sofa.
"Thank you for what you did, baby." My mother grinned.
"You deserve it, you've always taken care of me, I have to do the same now."
"Sakurai is still teaching at your old school."
"Eh?" I blinked. Why was her talking about that? It was out of the blue.
"Masaki-kun gave me news about him. He still teaches biology and..."
"Mom, I don't want to talk about him. I've forgotten him."
"Then, why are you still wearing his necklace?"
"I..." I put my hand on my necklace, not knowing what to say.
"I like Toma-kun a lot, don't misunderstand me but... You have Sakurai-san under the skin. He was your first love but I also think he was your only love. Even after all this time your feelings for him are the same. I like Toma-kun and if you are truly happy with him, then, I will never talk about it again but Jun, are you really happy without him?" I didn't answer because she was simply right. I've got Sho under my skin. He was a part of myself and even after four years, my feelings for him were intacted."You'll hurt Toma even more if you keep lying to him. He deserves to be truly loved. If you aren't completely sincere with him, break-up because it would be horrible not to really love him."
"I love him!" I snapped.
"But not as much as Sho-kun." My mother smiled sadly.
"It's over with Sho."
"It has never been over with Sho because you hadn't another choice than breaking-up with him. Your father forced you, you..."
"Stop mom. Please." I sobbed.
"Jun..."
"I need some air. I'll be at school." I cut her off and left.

I was so angry. But not at my mother. At myself. Because she was perfectly right. She knew me well after all. When I arrived in front of the school, old memories came back in my mind. I remembered all the times Sho and I had made out, all the times Masaki and I had played and laughed together.
Suddenly, I saw my old friend talking with a man. Masaki had changed a lot but was even more beautiful than before. His hair was now, brown and he was taller than me.

"MASAKI!" I screamed. Aiba jumped and turned his head toward me, his eyes widening.
"JUN!!!" Aiba ran toward me and jumped in my arms, almost making me fall.
"Tadaima." I chuckled.
"Okaeri." Aiba sobbed in my neck.
"You've changed, you are so beautiful!" I exclaimed, tears rolling down my cheeks.
"And you! You're gorgeous! What are you doing here?! Why didn't you call me?!" Aiba cried happily.
"You haven't changed that much. Always so excited." I laughed. "I've passed my exam and I'm back like I promised."
"I'm so happy! I've missed you so damn much!" Aiba sobbed, hugging me again.
"Me too, my baka."
"Masaki?" We pulled away and I saw the man who was talking with my friend. He looked kind and was very beautiful.
"Sorry! Jun, this is my boyfriend, Tamaki Hiroshi. Hiro, this is Jun Matsumoto, my best friend."
"Nice to finally meet you, Masa talked a lot about you." Hiroshi grinned.
"I'm very happy Ma-chan has found someone. Take care of him, please." I took his hand with a smile.
"I have so many things to tell you, Jun!"
"Me too! We have to celebrate that!"
"By the way, have you met Sho?" I froze at his question. Why for the fucking hell, everybody wanted me to see Sho.
"No. I hope he is fine." I chuckled nervously.
"Well, he isn't, since your start." Masaki bit his lip nervously.
"What's wrong, Masaki?" I frowned.
"He..."
"Jun?!" I froze, recognizing this so familiar voice. I turned my head and saw Sho looking at me with wide eyes. He had changed so much. He was thinner than before and looked very tired.
"Hello, Sho." I bowed.

Sho didn't answer, staring at me intensively. Drops of sweat were rolling down my temples. Why did I have to meet him here and now?! What was I going to do?!

To be continued...


A/N : Well, Sho didn’t come to France to take Jun back not because he didn’t love him but because he thought Jun’s words were true and didn’t want to hurt him anymore. Now, they have to deal with a new problem as Jun is back with his new boyfriend xD